Food Allergies and the Family Visit – Holiday Edition
AllergyHealth for Allergenis
There’s nothing like going home for the holidays. Thanksgiving and the subsequent winter holidays are synonymous with family. Families share traditions, memories, inside jokes, and so much more. However fun and comforting the holidays are, these celebrations can also be stressful thanks in no small part to food allergies.
People with food allergies – who spend exhaustive energy protecting themselves - need support and understanding from family and friends. But sometimes other people just don’t get it. Here are some strategies for staying safe while making fun, family, and friends the main course at your holiday table.
Understanding each other.
“Back in my day…” who doesn’t giggle (or cringe) when that phrase starts a sentence. But it’s true that when our parents were young, food allergies weren’t a topic of conversation. And when they became parents, many of us (their children) still didn’t know a single person with a food allergy. So, it’s no wonder they have doubts about the prevalence of food allergies today.
Much has changed since we all were kids. The prevalence of food allergies tripled just between 1997 and 2008 alone. Food allergies aren’t a parenting fad; they are a medical diagnosis that requires a medical response - one that includes strict allergen avoidance and epinephrine auto-injectors when needed.
But those living with food allergies can also feel hurt when their feelings about their condition and the protections they’ve put in place aren’t taken seriously. Respecting someone’s boundaries is a great way to show you understand and care, even if you can’t relate to their experience. For food allergies, the stakes are high. One wrong bite can send a person with food allergies to the hospital.
Food and Snacks
Grandparents and relatives that don’t live with dietary restrictions may not understand the amount of preparation, effort, and anxiety it takes to manage a food allergy on a daily basis. Let them into your world by telling them about the practical aspects of food avoidance.
Empower them by teaching them how to read food labels.
You may wish to bring food from home or go grocery shopping when you arrive – that way you can find the safe brands you/your child enjoys. Bring along a relative who is interested in learning how to help you.
Remind them that it’s not just about avoiding the allergens that are in the food you/your child eats; it’s also about cross-contact and cross-contamination. A spoon that stirs or serves a dish with an allergen cannot be used to stir or serve a dish that is safe.
The Big Meal
People have treasured memories associated with holiday meals. Dishes are often passed from family member to family member. And baked right into that food is nostalgia. This sometimes means that family members are resistant to change.
But what happens if you can’t eat the meal at the very heart of your holiday? Family members with food allergies often excluded from holiday meals. But it’s easy to create an inclusive table:
Check with the cook or your guests with food allergies in advance and discuss the menu. Problem-solve together to avoid food allergens. Sometimes the solution is as easy as a brand swap.
If you sense a cook is attached to a particular dish, it might be worth your time (and relationship) to simply bring a safe substitute for your protection and peace of mind.
Break apart dishes into components (like separating salad ingredients and dressing or potatoes separate from butter) so those with food allergies can eat safely, omitting ingredients that they are allergic to.
Keep ingredient lists and recipes handy. Guests with food allergies often have questions and having the packaging on hand for them to evaluate.
Volunteer to bring a dish from the part of the meal that is the hardest to accommodate safely. For those with a peanut allergy, that might be dessert. For someone with a dairy allergy, that might be mashed potatoes or gravy. Ensuring you have a safe dish at the table will allow you to enjoy the meal even more.
Be Thankful and Enjoy Your Time Together
Spending time with the ones you love is something to be truly grateful for. The Thanksgiving meal is another wonderful excuse to do just that.
Remind yourself that these visits are all about the time you spend together – not the meals you share. If food becomes too stressful, create memories allergen-free by planning food-less activities. Karaoke, family game nights, hikes, a festive Turkey bowl game, an outing to the playground, bowling… Focus on the fun, not the food.
Have a happy Thanksgiving and a festive – and safe – holiday season ahead!